For Parents

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Most of the struggles your child will face are common ones. How to build strong friendships. How to talk with their family. How to make thoughtful choices they can be proud of.

Children aren't short on the desire to figure these out. What they're short on is options- and a way to find them when it's hard. That's what we teach.

There are four ways to say something. Your words. Your face and body. Something you make. And what you do. Four ways to say it, and four times as many ideas to find.

A problem can become a goal. "He won't play with me" becomes "how do I make a new friend." One of those has answers.

Calm comes first. We call it a Heart Check — a hand over your heart, and two questions. Am I calm? Is this a kind choice? A hand signal goes with it, so a room can do it together without a word. It works as well in your kitchen as in a classroom.

There's always more than one choice. Usually many. And often the silly one leads somewhere good.

Not solve things for your child — model it, teach it, and support the problem solving as it comes.

Choose the quiet moments. Calm is when options make sense, and when a child can hear why one might work better than another. The hard moment is rarely the teaching moment.

Trust that your child will get there, with time and with your compassion.

And tell us what you notice. You're learning this alongside your child, and alongside their teachers. We'd like to hear what you see.

"You changed the way I think about communicating with my child."

Notice what's in it. Not that their child behaves better — that something opened up in how they hear their own kid, and in what they say back.

Read the book together. Inchy and Burt Make Good Choices is the easiest way in. Proceeds support our work.

Join our list. We'll tell you when new tools, sessions, and books are ready.

Give. Every dollar puts these tools in front of more children and more teachers. We're small, so it shows up fast.

Parent training. Request or sponsor a parent information session for a community dear to you.

Host a fundraiser. At your house, with your PTA, or with friends. You bring the room; we'll bring the books, the puppets, and someone to explain the work.

Follow and share. We're @conflictresolutionforkids on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube. Most parents have never heard this can be taught at all — and your word carries further than ours.

We need our children as much as they need us, and no one is better at cheering us up.

For any of this — including bringing us to your child's school — write to hello@conflictresolutionkids.org.